Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
