and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
