i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
