Rock
Scissors
Fuck
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
