I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
