Do vagina's smell?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My ass is underappreciated
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
