you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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