Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
