my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
