i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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