if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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