dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
