so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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