On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You made out with two different species that night
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
