Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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