We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
