I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
