So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
