Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
