everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
