no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
