There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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