actually, I'm a sock model
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
