i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
