so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I don't deserve a penis
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
