I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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