I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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