Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
