It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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