Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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