I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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