You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
