masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
