Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
whose parrot is this?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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