They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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