his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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