He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
