Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
