she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
