idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
And then my night got REAL pukey
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
