Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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