My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
