There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
