Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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