why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
