i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
