Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
