Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
