i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I didn't shave. On purpose
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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