Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
