i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
