I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
