theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
