found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
