driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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