What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
