i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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