I want to stick my p in your. b.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
