youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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