I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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