I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
