im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
