i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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